I used to listen to songs over the laptop when I was living alone. It was very therapeutic to listen to good music and to type out blog entries. Somehow this lifestyle had been abandoned with the big shift back. The local weather doesn’t put one in the mood to sit back and contemplate. It’s just too warm. It would be perfect if I could curl up in my rocking chair with a pot of tea and a good book, watching the winds howling and snow drifting outside. I miss my rocking chair (not exactly mine, but it was in my room).

There are many memories I miss, not so much things. It was the whole ‘living in a different world’ feel that is hard to describe. Things just seem to get darker as you get older. At breakfast today, we had a nice chat at the coffee shop. Not exactly the most likely place to trade stories but it was nice nonetheless to catch up. You hear about people and things, and you can only give what you think is useful advice. That’s all you can do for each other. Damage control and self preservation. It’s not possible to do maneuvering yet.

I can’t quite put my finger on something. If this is going to be like this, I can see why some people choose to give up. At the same time, I marvel those who continue to solder on.

I logged on wanting to write, but I can’t quite come up with the material. Things have slackened considerably in the past few weeks. A chance to take a breather and just enjoy the leisurely pace. It’s unhealthy for there to be such an oddly-timed break, concentrated at the end of the year. We really should have more frequent breaks in between but unless the system changes radically, this is going to be the situation for the years to come.

I am beginning to feel like a sponge, listening to information from different people and holding on to it. The nature of the information makes it such that it’s not possible to let anyone else in on it. So, I hold on to it and it’s not unlike what I would do.

I think about 2010, wondering if it’s better to approach it differently for I don’t quite understand if I’m doing quite ok so far or not. Maybe things may be clearer when April swings by.

Feel that the current situation is not the most ideal. Although I’m not sure if the ideal situation which I have in mind will eventually turn out to be better than what’s been planned.

Watched a documentary on the History Channel last night on the Berlin Wall. I was quite surprised by the information that people were still trying to escape from the East as late as the mid 80s. Given the sudden turn of events, I guess nobody could have pictured the Wall coming down so quickly.

It’s crazy how our minds work.

今天去了一趟＊＊中學，心裡莫名的感覺到其實我是懷念那個環境，那份感覺。也許是因為可以拿來做比較，所以感覺才那万分般的強烈。
很多人都非常訝異為什麼一位英語教育者會拿起聯合早報。一直以為很理所當然的事，其是不然。這才驚覺我曾經活在一個泡沫里。
也許這是冥冥的安排。

I completed the Intermediate level! Despite not studying for the test, I managed to score 95%. Haha, I may not have any kinaesthetic cells in me, but I’m definitely buzzing with verbo-linguistic cells. Feels nice to complete something after committing to it for a period of time. Starting on the JLPT prep class next week, before sitting for the exam in December. That will be followed by Pre-Advanced classes! Can’t wait.

I finished reading “Men In White”. I’m pleasantly surprised by the numerous references to my alma mater. Well, we were aware of our connections with Singapore history, but somehow you just cannot imagine the changes that have taken place in the past 40 years.

2 more books are sitting on my table. One by Sarah Waters, and the other is an old classic by Murasaki. Although things have quietened down a lot, on the work front, it’s still rather difficult to find time to read. The peculiar work hours may be to blame.

I was feeling rather upset yesterday evening from work. It was s*itty. There is no sensible reason why I should be feeling this way. It is ridiculous that I should be in this state, yet I am still feeling it on this rainy morning.

I keep playing in my head the things I would want to say, but I don’t think I can ever say that out. Maybe I made the wrong choices, or maybe I shouldn’t deceive myself anymore.

The truth is, they don’t make them like they used to.

It’s been 8 months since I started going for proper Japanese classes. Registered for the Level 3 exams, and it’s come to a point where I decide what I want to do next. There are 3 options. 1 is to continue with the next level, which is Pre-Advanced, that focuses on speaking skills, 2 is to go to the Level 2 prep class, which focuses on exam skills, or 3 is to skip to the Advanced level, which focuses on reading.

If I ask myself what my aim is, then the answer is overwhelmingly obvious. Yet, I am trying to think of something more concrete, and J.E.T. seems like a plausible option. That’s not going to materialise in the next 4 years, but it could be an option to consider beyond that.

Not disgruntled with the current state. Maybe I have become too good at muting my emotions. However, I feel an ache when I think of the fact that I would be unlikely to see my charges next year. The sense of attachment is palpable.

Still, I don’t get the satisfaction that I’m doing a good job.

OK, i haven’t posted in 1.5 months. This is a bit unusual. I guess it boils down to the priorities. Updating clearly isn’t an important priority at the moment, as much as I would love to write more often. There’s a brief respite from all this and pretty soon, a longer break awaits.

Registered for JLPT Level 3 exams. Hmm, I have this sinking feeling that I’m going to need a lot more studying this time.

Gosh, I haven’t posted in a month. Been busy with work, but there is really a need to detach oneself from it during the weekends.

It wouldn’t be wise to post certain links here, so I won’t. Anyway, I think I have lost some weight. Not a good thing. Maybe it’s because lunch portions are tiny.

Received the Cambridge alumni magazine. Hmm, my first issue. Wonder what happened to the earlier issues. I still have not found the time to tear open the plastic wrapper of my book “The Tales of Genji”. It’s written by a lady of the court in the Heian period of Japan, making it one of the earliest novels in human history. Of course I’m reading the English translation. There is no way I can read it in Japanese.

Doing things for myself. It’s something that needs constant reminding.

Tropical fruits are a wonder trove. Tried kedongdong (in juiced form) just now. And it tastes interesting. Sort of like a guava, with a little more astringency. It definitely tastes tropical-ish. So I had to google to find out more about kedongdong. And amazingly it belongs to the Anacardiaceae family, which makes it a close relative of the mango.

Had spotted Spondias dulcis being sold at Bugis before. Hmm, I wonder how the raw fruit would taste. Very curious.

A report on what happened in the past few days.

Zipped off to Tokyo on NW20 on Saturday morning (23 May). Unearthly 6am flight. The flight was not too comfortable. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that was at the root of the discomfort. The food was not too good and the entertainment dismal. I watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and it was …

We arrived in Narita airport and took the N’EX into downtown Tokyo. The distance of the airport from the city centre is too far for there not to be a high-speed train connection. This is one sore point about flying into Tokyo via Narita. Anyway, when we arrived in Tokyo station, we had to make a few connections on the subway before arriving at our hotel in Komagata.

Ah, the weather was pleasantly warm. And the hotel wasn’t that difficult to locate. Rooms were small-ish, but it sufficed. Headed out to Asakusa shrine first, as it was really close to our hotel. Chanced upon the HQ of Bandai along the way. The company that produces classic Japanese cartoon characters like Power Rangers, Doraemon. They had these cute plastic figurines along the sidewalk. This was definitely an unexpected find!

Asakusa Shrine wasn’t as crowded this time, as compared to my previous visits. We took a stroll through and weaved our way towards Shinjuku. Following the recommendations of this Japanese guidebook that I picked up from Kinokuniya (this series of guidebooks is amazing), we found a small ramen store. Wow, the ramen was good. It cost only 1000 Yen ($15). Trust me, that’s cheap by Japanese standards.

Hoping to get some shopping done, we made our way towards Takashimaya in Shinjuku. Alas, the stores were closed by then so we had to give up. Saw Krispy Kreme (the queues were long).

The next morning (24 May), we made our way to Omotesando – the Champs Elysee equivalent in Tokyo. Priced out of our range, we walked towards Meiji shrine. The stroll through the wooded area was invigorating, there was this air of serenity and regality associated with the area. A fair number of people were there and we saw a number of babies (probably some kind of 1st month ceremony) and what looks to be a wedding ceremony. Given that it was a drizzly day, we had to fall back on shopping!

So we shopped our way through Harajuku, Shibuya and Shinjuku. Popped into a number of shops to spend spend spend. Lunch was a simple affair at Mos Burger. Had cleanly forgotten that they don’t sweeten their ice teas. But it was yummy. We should switch to unsweetened ice teas too. It’s the wiser option.

Shibuya 109 was a disappointment. It wasn’t our cup of tea – too Queensway / Bugis like. Stocked up on a couple Japanese books at Kinokuniya (couldn’t pry myself away from the shelves) and had dinner in Takashimaya. Sake was good! Love it better than vodka.

On Monday morning, it was time for sashimi feast at Tsukiji market. After a good breakfast, we explored the market before heading towards the Ginza area. The alcohol-laced buns in Kimuraya were a treat. I like the slightly crispy skin surrounding a smooth paste of red bean. Went to Muji for lunch. And i must say this is the most amazing lunch place I have ever seen.

It’s a cafeteria-styled place (not too different from Ikea). You get to pick 3 items from a selection of warm and cold foods for 780 Yen. The cold section was scrumptious. They had amazing salads that looked so fresh and healthy that you feel so good eating them. The warm section wasn’t too good, but it was made up by the cold section. This is definitely a must-stop on ALL future trips to Tokyo. The main Muji branch in Yurakucho.

After that, we proceeded to Odaiba. Got onto the ferris wheel. Slightly nerve-wrecking given the size of the cabin (could only fit 4 people MAX.) but seeing the sunset was a treat. For dinner, we followed the book’s guide and settled on Tonkatsu in Tokyo Midtown – another posh-looking mall in Roppongi.

Tuesday: Ueno Park followed by Yanaka area. This is an old area that wasn’t ravaged by the earthquake nor the war. Nice to walk around and look at the shops. Everything’s cheaper out here. Then we went to Akihabara. Again, unless you are looking for electronics, it isn’t really necessary to venture out here. Finally, we headed to Ikebukuro for more shopping. Decided to get a new bag and mulled over my options. Dinner was in a Japanese restaurant in Seibu.

Wednesday: Checked out of the hotel and deposited our bags in the lockers at Ueno. Looked around Ameyoko (a bit disappointing really), and proceeded back to Ikebukuro. Did some decision-making and settled on a new workbag. Erm…. hahah… let’s just say I spent enough on the bag that allowed me to get a consumption tax refund. Headed down to Animate, which is a shop that sells anime-related merchandise, where W went crazy.

Finally, zipped back to the airport to catch the flight back. It was much emptier on my way back, had 2 seats to myself. Can’t believe I actually did this whirlwind tour. But I’m convinced that repeated visits to 1 place is a much better way of travelling than to 走馬看花。